Home

Who is She and Where can I Find Her?

COMING TO KNOW THIS STRANGER WHO IS MYSELF

Finding the essential Self is an archeological process requiring time,
dedication, support and–most of all–the courage not to turn away. For
me, art, personal collage, poetry and memoir journaling are the
excavation tools which continually reveal deeper mysteries.
ANN FURSMAN NIX, MA, CCHT
holds a Master’s degree in Counseling
Psychology from Ohio State University,
and is a Certified Clinical
Hypnotherapist. For 10 years she was
a student of A.H. Almaas and the
Diamond Work, and is a Certified
Practitioner of Anna Halprin’s Life/Art
Process. For the past 36 years, Nix has
been engaged in the field of psychology
and creative development.

“October 11, 1994

This morning I went to the studio, pinned
a large piece of paper to the wall and with
black paint scrawled these words:
“WHO IS HERE AND HOW CAN I
FIND HER?”
This journal entry from 16 years ago was like some kind of strange graffiti erupting out of me. What could I possibly mean?
How could I not know myself?

ME–with my MA in Counseling
Psychology

ME–who was fully engaged in a
spiritual work school

ME–who had been in therapy for
many years.
It was as though some part of
my seeing apparatus could not
yet recognize who I was.

In some fundamental way I was
a stranger to myself.
Over time as I worked with the images

–wrote over them,

colored around them,

covered them with paint,

then uncovered them–

something deep was revealing itself–

some essential unharmed part of me

was beginning to find its voice.
Looking back I can see that the process
has continued to unfold itself, a step at a
time.

Discovering this particular way of
working has been as significant as the
piece itself.

It became an excavation allowing me to
move down through layers.

I have always been fascinated by ancient
cave paintings which were built layer on
layer–over generations of time–each
contributor being sensitive to what has
gone before–respecting what is
underneath and responding to it.

Perhaps this is how our soul emerges

built layer by layer

and then uncovered layer by layer.
Somehow, it is not written how,

she learned to give her soul its food.

It come to her then

not as a beggar

or as a beast

but as a lover.

It lay her down

it opened her throat

and it began to sing.

Lewis Hyde